Saturday, April 23, 2011
Saturday, April 16, 2011
It's easy to say 'The gem cannot be polished without friction nor man without trials', or 'Adversities are the spices of life', or 'The art of living lies less in eliminating our troubles than in growing with them', or 'Rock bottom is good solid ground, and a dead end street is just a place to turn around', or simply 'Don't worry, be happy'. All valid, and all I truly believe. They all work. But, still, easier said than done. It takes times to turn the mentality around and turn those pests into solid grounds, or gems, or spices, or artistic works. And if it takes longer than my patience, I will start to get frustrated.
I'm at the happiest stage of my life, and I want to enjoy it! Fully. Totally. Completely. Every single day. Maybe I am asking too much from life.
As each day passes, I am slowly heading out of my current stage of life towards the next, which will probably be less enjoyable. I want to enjoy my life now as much as possible. In addition to the realisation that 40's is not young anymore, I am a bit desperate. I don't want these problems and worries hanging low above me blocking my full view of a clear blue sky. They might not turn into a storm, or they might get blown away, but nobody can focus in the present for ever without looking up once in a while and ponder upon the future.
Childhood was good. All we do is wake up, eat, play, eat some more, play a little bit more and sleep. Carefree. Adolescence was fantastic - friends, parties, outings, crushes. Vibrant. Early stage of adulthood was great - everyday was an adventure, every step was a new frontier conquered. Exciting. Ah ... great time. Happy time. Enjoyable time. Upon hind sight.
Monday, April 4, 2011
Friday, April 1, 2011
Enough is enough.
I’ve always used this blog to satisfy my desire to be creative, and I rarely put in any real emotions, or use this space to reveal my true self. But this post, for a change, will fill with my real-life rants and what I think of my marriage and my wife. Tsk, my wife.
I’ve been married to this woman for thirteen years. And that’s twelve years too long. The first year was great. Everyday seemed like an adventure, every moment together was filled with warmth and tingling with joy, and every night was a standing ovation for a great day. No regret.
But then things started to change.
Looking back, I do play a part in the whole situation. Back then, my business wasn’t going smoothly. But doesn’t every new business face its ups and downs? Perhaps it’s the lack of time spent together, or perhaps it was the lack of financial security, but loving glances started to mix with contempt; gentle touches started to harden with coldness; intimate conversation was turning into fights.
Perhaps I was too busy with my business, or perhaps I was still too deep in love, as the fight revolved around issues that were pettier by the days, it suddenly hit me last week. That and my finding that our savings in our joint account was left with a balance of a few thousands. At its peak, the balance in the account was at two hundred thousands. What a fool!
This woman not only took away my times, my emotions, and now my money! I should have noticed, all the expensive handbags, the expanding wardrobe, the premium gym’s membership, the vacation trips to Europe with her friends … What a fool!
Dang! Fool! I’m my wife’s Fool!
And my wife’s name is April.