Saturday, April 23, 2011

A Dream, A Letter and A Song

Dear D,

I dreamed of you again last night. Well, 'again' after a long, long time. It's been a while since I had you in my mind, or my dream. Not sure why after such a long absence you had decided to walk into my dream again.

They say dreams are a manifestation of your thoughts during the day. I didn't recall thinking of you lately, not consciously anyway. Maybe it's the way it has been raining these past few days.

As in the past few days, today the rain was right on cue to close off a hot tropical day, shortly after the world has pulled on its blankets of stars and moon. However, the stellar decorations are nowhere to be seen these few nights. As silently as a bird flying across the sky, and as softly as the feather touches, the rain arrived, much to our delights. Accompanied by the cooling night breeze, the change in atmosphere does make one feel sentimental.

'Rain is the sound of missing you' - that's the words that had really etched into my heart a few days ago when I was watching a movie. Perhaps the rain had reminded me of you, or how I miss you.

It was a good dream. You know how we always wake up from dreams when it reaches the highlight? The highlight of my dream? Us holding hands.

I can't recall most of the details of the dream. Maybe it had brought us back to where we first met. Maybe it had played back the times when we fight over your dream and my dream. Maybe it had brought me back to the times when we played a joke on the old man at the grocery store, or the time we went biking during the rain by the beach ... The dream was fuzzy with all these mixed emotions. But I vividly remember this - us holding hand. It's funny how at that moment, the excitement and butterflies when our hands first held each other was mixed into the feelings of warmth and contentment from the moments after. And there's a surging sense of happiness of seeing you again to counter with the underlying sadness of missing you. Whatever the outcome, I guess the feeling was too overwhelming for the dream to continue. And these sensations have lingered from the moment I woke up until now.

I was a bit downcast in the morning, missing you I guess. Although it was no way near as sad as the day that you left. But it was heavy nonetheless, like a cloud hanging heavy low above me. But by the end of the day, the cloud dispersed. Happier memories have slowly and silently crept back into my thoughts. Much like how you crept behind me trying to scare me in those days. Remember? I smiled at that thought, along with the sunshine, laughters, us skipping and dancing, in the rain, under the hot sun ... and your smile. In the end, my feet was going tap, tap-tap, tap, tap ... tap, tap-tap, tap, tap ... as lightly as walking on clouds.

I've been wearing a smile ever since the song started playing in my ears again ...


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