Tuesday, September 30, 2008

Letting Go

A bit sad, upset even, I was feeling when I heard my wife telling my 8-years-old daughter she’s registered her for another weekly tuition in Chinese language. I was already not happy about the first tuition, which started last year and teaches most of the subjects in school except Chinese.

Being a democratic family, I don’t, and frankly, can’t always insist matters of our children to be decided solely by me. After all, it’s the child’s benefit that’s behind the decision, and there are bound to be more than one way to achieve it. Of course, avoiding a quarrel with the wife also stands prominently amongst the reasons in giving ways.

There were two reasons why I opposed to tuitions for our children at this stage. The first reason shattered when I realised that our daughter is enjoying the tuition and friends she meets in the class. The second reason is as valid and as strongly felt as before.

But, I’m probably being selfish.

One of the reasons, I think, I’m enjoying fatherhood so much nowadays is that I find great satisfaction and pleasure in being able to impart what’s within me to my children. It’s not always easy. At times it involves threats of taking out a cane, and the kids bursting into tears under my overly high expectation. I have to admit that there are truths in how parents may not be the most effective teachers.

But I do find joy and have always yearned for opportunities to share quality times with them during my “tuitions”. Perhaps it’s something to do with “legacy”?

So, if it’s for the good of the child, and I oppose because I feel that I was denied access to the pleasant experiences of fatherhood, I’m probably being selfish, right?

Perhaps this is part of the process of me letting go of my lovely children as they grow older.

If this is indicative of what it’s like letting go, I think I’ll have a hard time. In fact, I have always known that I will have a hard time.

But, hopefully, by the times they step into their teens, they might grow to be so annoying that I'll frown and sweep them aside whenever they're in sight.

At least, it's much easier to let go in this way.


KentuckyGal said...

It's tough, having the children grow up and become more independent.

Hicham said...

I agree with 'kKentuckyGal' that rasing up children is a tough job and I don't think that caring and being worry about them means selfish.

I however think; we were kids so what were we thinking about our father/mother? I think this is a good perspectvie to look into things and it's all for their sake.

clair said...

Letting go is hard, I do agree. But besides teaching them schoolwork, there's so many other ways to connect with kids. My kids and I talk a lot in the car when I'm driving them around, and we hang out at the mall on the weekend.


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