Soul Searching

Well, it's been more than a year ...

Why do I blog?

Well, actually that's an easy one. I started blogging for reasons no more aesthetic and therapeutic than making some extra money for a cup of coffee, Starbuck's hopefully. But, as they say, making money IS an art, and I guess there's nothing more therapeutic than watching the bank account grow, at whatever rate. Still, after having been blogging for more than one year now, I'm no more an artist in this artistic category than a child holding a crayon in front of the wall of his parent's bedroom; and I am probably in need of therapeutic treatment more than before I started blogging.

However, during the time spent on blogging, another interesting question arose.

Why do I write?

Well ...

I write, therefore I am.

No idea what the heck that means. But I've always wanted to say it - so cool - and felt an urge to complete the incomplete hanging sentence: I write, therefore I am ---- a frigging giant pen?

Now, why do I write?

Actually, I did not realise this question even exists. But after more than a hundred posts in a year time, I have to ask myself this question - where do I find the interest and passion to continue this words-ridden, previously unthought of pastime for so long?

I was never into writing; except for newspaper, neither was I into reading. That is why this question is so intriguing. The quality of my written works aside, the satisfaction and pleasure I find flowing within me during and after the process of writing was indeed a pleasant surprise, and still is.

Facing a screen of whites, I would turn my attention to the ocean of choice, take a deep breath, concentrate and plunge into the sea of thoughts. At the point of entry, millions of thoughts would come rushing by. I would wait until I'm floating weightlessly in the middle of it all, clear my mind and pluck those that can be threaded together. After some careful consideration, I would build them into carriages of words, and complete the train of thoughts. Work's not done - tracks need to be laid. Smooth turns, unexpected twists, rising tensions, free-falling rushes, enchanting tunnels, brilliant flashes ... and Voila! A ride is created.

In actual fact, the process is less easy than as described. For me, the process has to be repeated probably ten to twenty times to complete a decent piece. But that's just made the finish product so much more gratifying for me.

When I lay the process out that way, I realise maybe it is not the writing that I enjoy.

I appreciate creativity, in whatever shape and size. Creativity fascinates me. I admire creativity.

Perhaps, it's the creativity behind the writing that really enchants me. Or perhaps I am simply enjoying the process of creating a post. But is there any difference between writing and creating a post? Certainly.

I get as much satisfaction from a piece of more than 1000 words as a piece with no word!

In essence, after some soul searching, I think I can conclude that I write, because I enjoy creativity. Writing is but a means to an end.

But there's one very important element in my enjoyment of writing - YOU.

Would I find the same pleasure with a pen, a piece of paper, and a piece of writing that ends up in my locked drawer? I very much doubt so. I blog, therefore I write.

For whatever reason I'm enjoying writing, I would probably do it for a while longer, hopefully a lot longer, in this blog and my other blog.

Yes! I've actually started another blog half a year ago to house the lighter side of my creativity in greater frequency, and to earn some more coffee money (if you haven't already noticed this at the sidebar of this blog for the last few months).

Of course, there's one obstacle in my pursuit of this fulfillment - time. With works and family commitment, time is hard to come by and when it comes, I have to struggle with fatigue from work. Sunday is the most productive day for me in this pursuit.

Still, for now at least, I think I can say that I do enjoy writing, and will explore more ways to satisfy my desire for creativity in the future through writing - fiction, "faction", short stories, long stories, random thoughts, etc, etc. So, bear with me.

I hope you enjoy my writing as much as I enjoy the writing.

~

There - another train is built, another track is laid, enjoy the ride!

Well ... try.


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